Hello, I'm new here.

I rarely come to this blog, but when I do, it’s because something crazy is happening to my life, and I need to let it out on paper and be known.

Since I am all about honesty on this blog.. I have to say this:

When I wrote this goodbye letter on my final night at EASM (My youth group back home) I honestly was convinced I was saying goodbye to youth group for a very long time. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE students (Yes, even the middle schoolers), and I know that God wants me to work with them forever, but being the creature of habit that I am, I was fully convinced I would never find another church or youth group that came close to EAC (my church back home). I grew up there, I accepted Christ there, and if you want to know more about them and how they impact my story, read my letter to them (Click here).

However, this post is about the present, not the past.

I have spent the past year and a half at TFC. I love it here, I love my friends, I love my roommate, I love the freedom moving away from home has given me. I have been stretched and pulled by God in so many areas, and for a girl who struggles with social anxiety in new places, I have really put myself out there. Or so I thought.

Over thanksgiving/Christmas break this year, I got to see “my” students (AKA my youth group). While I LOVED every second of it, there was a certain reality hitting me over and over again: the longer ive been gone, the more they have moved on. There are other people filling in where I used to work, the intern duties have been handed off to others, and (possibly worst of all) apparently people CAN get chickfila on Wednesday nights without me (seriously… what the heck). And while some of these truth stung my pride a little, nothing hurt more than hearing my youth pastor was leaving the church to go where God was leading him and his family. This was the final brick to the wall closing off my childhood. For some reason, I felt like it was finally time to move on from EAC. After these two trips back home, I had closure and I felt at peace with here I was heading. I returned back to campus with the full intent of (finally) embracing a new church.

To my church family back home reading this- I STILL LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH. I have come to realize that it’s true, I will never find another church like EAC, or another youth group like EASM, yall goofs are one of a kind.

That being said: something big has happened in my life and I really want you to know about it…. I have become a member at new church (gasp, shock, gasp some more). And more than that… I have become a leader at a new youth group (ok… that one actually shocked me). And it turns out… I love it… mostly. It’s crazy to see where God will bring you when you finally release control. Within 2 weeks I found myself sitting in a membership class for a church I’ve been attending the past year and a half, and I found myself filling out a youth leader application. I will be honest in saying I DID NOT do this completely willingly. I dragged my heels, I told God I really didn’t want to, in fact, I was in my car about to ditch the membership class, when i heard Him telling me "I love you, girl. Now get your butt inside and stop ignoring what I am telling you to do". Thankfully, this stubborn girl listened for once and forced myself to stay. The same thing happened with joining the youth group, I almost didn’t. The walk from the sanctuary to the table where the youth pastor was sitting was THE longest walk in history. My heart was racing and I seriously almost walked right out of the door (ok, i kind of did... but then i turned back around), I HATE being the new kid I repeated to myself over and over, dragging my feet. Thankfully, again, my pride lost and I nervously talked about wanting to check out the youth group. That conversation lead me to a leader meeting that night, sitting around a table with a group of leaders I didn’t know. This was a first. I can honestly say, once again, I almost didn’t go (have I mentioned I am terrified of meeting new people?). I was very clearly the new kid on the block (90’s pun completely intended). Long story short, God once again tackled my pride and it turns out….. I really really like the leaders at my new youth group… like a lot. They are kind, welcoming, and excited about students. And to all my new friends at Foothills/Live.... You now know a little big of my embarrassing back story of how I got to you. Yes, underneath my "calm cool and collected" exterior.... Is an scared noob. :)

So I suppose this is just one long ramble about how I have been slowly over coming my fears of being new (don’t worry yall, I still make a complete awkward fool out of myself, that hasn’t changed). If you are reading this… will you pray for me? I am getting to know new leaders, new students, new parents, new everything. I had gotten so used to the routine at EASM, I know exactly when and where to be, and what needs to be done. I was a part of running the show, I had the keys, I had the plan, I was left in charge of so many things. That said, I am still trying to find my role within this new youth group, it is quite humbling to go from feeling like I knew everything, to knowing basically nothing or no one. I am (slowly…. And awkwardly) embracing this new chapter in my life.

Here’s to hopefully more life change blog posts in the near future. 

*Do you have any suggestion for my transition? Tell me, comment below! :)