"It's way past due that I write just for You
I've been distracted by what can't compare to You
You're worth every note every struggle and pain, every refrain
And I'm gonna sing my lonesome song
Remembering You're with me through the storm"
-B.Reith
Listening to this song today as i rode to school(far to early in my opinion) I realized that i feel just like he does. My words please everyone around me. I'm a "people pleaser" i say and do things, basically to make other people happy. Which is totally wrong.. so so so wrong. i have been distracted by things that cant even come close to God that i have forgotten what my main goal should be, to please HIM.
Recently i have decided to stop being a "people pleaser" and to be honest, I'm quite amused with some of the results of this decision. I enjoy some of the looks i have been getting, even though i know the thoughts behind those looks are very unhappy and negative. Not that i enjoy making people be unhappy or negative, but i do enjoy the feeling of people knowing exactly where i stand, and also them knowing that there is NOTHING they can do to change that anymore.
After last nights message at youth(or at least what i pulled from it) God doesn't make mistakes. So while i know i will never be perfect in most of my thoughts and actions, its okay to say and make them. God created me to think and be this way, and allowing people to change me is basically a slap in the face to God telling him he did not create me good enough. There is comfort in the thought that there will never be anyone in this world like me. God created me to be this person. I want to embrace every opportunity being Kinsey has. I stand alone in a crowd of people, and while that would scare or even sadden others, i find great joy in my differences.
I can no longer be distracted by the things of this world that have no comparison to the greatest creator to ever be. So be warned my friends. For i am becoming unafraid of speaking my mind and sticking to it.
